me & mom

my mom is here for a visit. she has dementia. i didn't have the happiest childhood and when she's around, i don't have the happiest adulthood. she is still overbearing and gets angry easily, but now she's also argumentative about even the smallest of details and frequently tries to end any disagreement with "well, i'll be dead soon and you won't have to worry with me then." ho can argue with that?

she lives with my sister and her husband. they are looking into putting her into a home, but if she goes, her check would go with her, so that is out of the question. my sister had offered to let her stay with me, but only if it's for free. no aount of m oney could entice me to take care of my mom 24/7. i know that sounds evil, but she did some pretty bad things to me.

i was a child whose face should have been on a milk carton. she snatched when i was 3 months old and went into hiding. i wasn't in any danger, but she didn't want to deal with my father. i grew up hearing ho bad my father was and how if i wasn;t good she would send me to live with him and he wuld hurt mr and rape me. ye, she said that to a child.

i found my father when i was 24, but he had been dead for 3 years. but according to his second wife, he never forgot me or gave up hope he would find me.

my mother never got a dime of child support out of him. when i was 11, i even got her an appointment with juvenille court to get child support. she ended up giving the case worker oral sex in his office and he never called again. we also never got child support. she claims she had to do it, that he threatened to turn her in for stealing me. i have my doubts.

now she sits on the sofa and i look over at her and wonder how she could treat me, her only child, that way. i would never do my son like that. i think it is divine retributution that she is in the condition she is in now.

then in the next breath i ask god to forgive me. i don't want to live my life this bitter.

blue flu and STUFF

not that anybody noticed, but i haven't updated in a while.

i had the flu! or some type of virus! or something just short of death!

mel, you won the book! as soon as live.com stops throwing a snit fit, i will open your email and get your book out to you.

this week's giveaway will be a random cookbook from my massive collection. it will probably be the one that won't fit on my bookcase correctly. i will take entries until april 18, 12:00 noon. lower 48, usa only, blah blah blah! to qualify, send me the weirdest ingredient in your pantry. if you know why you have it, tell me. ut you may not know why it ended up in your cabinet...

i have a secret shame...there is a mall in my garage. yes, when i had to downsize, i just put the things i couldn't process and didn't need immediately in the garage. so there is enough room to put my car in and the rest is just STUFF!

i have listed a dinette set and some clothing on craigslist. i have had quite a bit of response, but i need to take some pics. i need some money, not boxes of stuff!

i can't bring myself to call it clutter, so i call it STUFF! to me, clutter is crap no one wants and no one needs. these are valuable thing that i once put great value in owning. based on the number of emails i have gotten from craigslist, it is of value to someone else. once i have it down to a manageable level, it may become clutter. but for now, i am in my safety zone and calling it STUFF!

don't jack around

this is jack.

he's my best friend and bodyguard. he saves me from the shiny prism that shines on the kitchen wall when sunlight filters through the crystal vase, or when i open the freezer compartment and the bulb reflects on the ice bin.

his full name is jack russell terrier. he gets mail, usually junk mail, because i always use his name when i order crap from the internet. he is always watching out for me, as you can see above. he lets me know when anything interesting passes by my house, like a bus or dump truck or the asshat man down the street with the 4 wheeler.

i love him, and he loves me back.

but so far, he refuses to reciprocate with the tummy rubs! and he wants me to touch his bone far too often for us to be "just friends".

don't forget to enter the giveaway for the handbag book!

the winner is...and another giveaway!

being the techno-savvy sophisticate i am, i picked the winner by printing out all the comments, folding them into tiny squares and picking the winner out of my rachel ray garbage bowl (called the vomit bowl around here due to it's noxious color, not because i barf in it ). the winner is...

saltwaterwitch!

please email me with your mailing info and i will get your beautiful blue ipod with the cocktail sticker on the front shipped out to you within the next day or so.

i have decided i will have a giveaway every week. this week, the giveaway is a book:

"hip handbags- creating and embellishing 40 great-looking bags" by valerie van arsdale shrader, as pictured above! yeah, i did it! i actually published a photo!

it's a cool book with great tutorials on making the best handbags.

entering is simple: leave me a comment and tell me about your purse- it can be the one you are carrying, the one you want/covet with all your heart, the one you lost on the bus, or even the ugly one your co-worker thinks is so fashionable, it doesn't matter. be sure to get your entry in by 12:01 a.m. on april 5! that's next sunday! lower 48 states only, please!

i plan on opening my birthday purse later tonight and making the switch. my new bag is much bigger than the one i am using right now, so i will have room for a water bottle and a book.

i ended up eating this great chinese food at a buffet restaurant. they are very diverse: i made a plate with lo mein in the middle, surrounded by 6 T. of chinese meats picked out of various dishes, topped with a big spoon of PICO DE GALLO! fantastic! i will never be able to eat plain chinese food again!

i also ate sushi, 1/2 pound of cocktail shrimp, 2 tiny tender steaks and a wad of crab rangoons. i didn't even bother with dessert. after all, i still have perfect birthday cake: white cake, white icing white flowers, white writing.

my oldest friend, pepper, called me right at midnight last night, so he could be the first one to tell me happy birthday and we talked for an hour. he lived across the street from me when i was 2. then we ignored each other until i was 17. we are going to do pizza sometime this week. he is my best friend! and no, he's not gay!

i found out that kate gosselin's birthday was march 28th, yesterday. happy birthday, ya heifer! tmz caught them eating at mr. chow's earlier this week and i look forward to watching the recap tonight. there were almost 400 comments on tmz.com the other day. i know, i read them all friday night! i also made a sims 2 family that looks like jon & kate, but didn't give them any kids. they just wanted to drink coffee and have sex.

yah, a friday wasted on tmz comments and the sims! i live like a rockstar, what can i say!

blue fuzz

i decided today to take back some dead plants to lowe's. they have a one year guarantee for trees and such, and i had 7 packs of pansys that hated being planted and a hydrangea that could least be bothered to grow. i grabbed a friend of mine and we drove 20 miles to lowe's. i got my cash back and we both discovered that we had our certificates for mcalister's deli birthday club with us- she's the one the party was for last week.

when we placed out orders, they put both orders on one ticket. then the cashier ealized she didn't know how to deduct the $5 certificates. so she called her manager over, who said he could only take one off our order. but we both had birthday discounts and they couldn't rering it. it ended up being an issue and they had to rering both orders god only knows how many times. but we ended up paying just $5 between us and the manager just shoved an armful of receipts at me when all was said and done. nobody even told either of us happy birthday!

the joke is on them. i was looking at the wad of receipts and 5 of them had offers to take a survey and get a $3 discount on a future purchase. i don't eat out that often, so i will give them to my son. he eats at the same chain at least twice a week but in a different town.

my club sandwich and chicken tortilla soup were delish, by the way.

junkmel, i am in rural north mississippi too. we very well may be neighbors. i live right next to a town named after a queen whose nickname would be vicki- sounds familiar? give me a clue as to your mex restaurant. it's closer for me to cross state lines than go to the nearest big town in my state.

i am looking forward to watching the "sex and the city" movie tonight. i am not answering the phone or the door from 7-9. i will be having a bbq chicken pizza and eggrolls for dinner. i also bought something new- cherry dr. pepper! i like dr. pepper in small doses and this caught my eye. i hope it tastes as good as i hope and doesn't make me puke. of course, if i don't want to puke, maybe i shouldn't mix bbq chicken pizza and egg rolls. i live dangerously!

chick is working all day tomorrow, and my son will have itchy and scratchy all by himself. the plan is take them out for chinese food and then go grocery shopping with him. it's near the end of the month, so i will be using up a bunch of coupons before they expire. i would like to talk him into going to the thrift store but that may not be an option.

when my son was small, he was so easy going he would eat anything i ate and go anywhere i went. no problem. but itchy and scratchy are those kids you see muching down on a happy meal at the best chinese restaurant, and the kids you see melting down in a store and being dragged out as if they have no bones. i only wish he could have met chick before she got her digs intot he kids so deep. they are both really sweet but diabolical. i don't really like keeping both of them at the same time but i can't refuse my son.

he is having outpatient surgery next tuesday, so it is a must that the grocery shopping get done. chick can't cook and she is the kind who is almost proud of that fact- which would fly if she didn't have two kids who need to eat healthy food. if he doesn't buy normal wholesome food and help her cook, he will be at her mercy while he is off work and out of commission. her idea of a good meal is peanut butter sandwiches and apple slices, or chicken nuggets and potato chips. my son learned to cook at an early age, so he is appalled by this. we are going to make up a menu of things to cook next week and use up a bunch of coupons.

case in point: at christmas, she had a big party planned and invited a bunch of people. i ended up cooking a big mexican nacho casserole type thing (layers of taco-seasoned ground beef, refried bean and cheese served with tortilla chips and a million different toppings) that is kind of plain and everybody can add the toppings of their choice. it's a good dish to make for a group because even picky people can eat it and if they don't like something, they don't have to add it. i made it in one of her gigantic casserole pans that had a nice lid and carrying case. my son told me that after the party was over, she looked at it and asked him what she should do with the leftovers. my son said save them and eat it later, but she didn't even know if it needed refrigeration. she said she hates eating leftovers. so my son took it over and put the lid on it and stuck it in the fridge. the next few nights, she worked later than he did. he made a couple of different things with the leftovers, like burritos, quesadilllas and finally soup. she liked the all until he told her he had used the leftover casserole as the basis for all the dishes. she said she hoped it didn't make her sick. DUH! he just laughed at her and told her to remember that if you cook something, refrigerate the leftovers. apparently, she tried to eat some leftovers at some point that she hadn't refrigerated and she scraped off the blue fuzz. yes, blue fuzz probably gave her a nice case of the hot trots. sometimes i wonder how someone with her lack of common sense can work in the MEDICAL field!

gray day and overheard secrets

i am sitting in the floor looking out the window. right now, everything is gray and it looks like the bottom is about to fall out. five minutes ago, it was semi-sunny. my yard is a swamp due to the showers yesterday. my seedlings need to be planted. my gazebo needs assembly. i need to buy the patio furniture for my outdoor room, but i hate to tie up the funds if it won't be assembled for a month. i need, i need, i need....ok, i want.

my dog enjoyed his party. we gave him a hunk of spam with a candle in it. he got a cute raincoat, a camo rope tuggie thing and a bag of people crackers. his spamcake lasted about 3 minutes. the rest of us has lasagna, italian spinach, corn and garlic bread. then they surprised me with my birthday cake early! it was my favorite: white cake, white icing, white flowers and white writing. yeah, it looks like a wedding cake! and it is so delicious! they also gave me a nick & nora robe and pj set, pink with a fruit label print! i wore the robe the rest of the night.

i bought myself a new vera bradley villager in cupcakes pink when they had the free coin purse promotion, as well as the promotional cooler. i am opening those on my birthday sunday and i will act surprised. i had the store giftwrap them, so i wouldn't be tempted to use them early. yeah, i'm goofy that way!

i picked up itchy at school the other day and got there early so i could park right up front. i eavesdropped (my bad!) on the rednecks parked in the pick-up nest to me. it was a mom and her teen-aged son picking up the son's kindergarten daughter- more proof we are in mississippi. through a cloud of marlboro smoke (in a no tobacco zone), i learned that one of the mom's friends stole a tricked out '08 suburban, but before he could strip it, he got word that someone had dropped a dime on him. so he sunk it in his pond. also someone named skoal totalled his "brand new '03 protege" while drunk driving. yeah, a 6 year-old brand new 2003 protege. duh! ok, so i felt a bit superior. i also heard the story of some girl the son met on the internet who ended up being captured shackled by the fbi and flown to illinois to face heroin trafficking charges or some such mess.

when i moved out here, i thought i would be leaving the pitfalls of the city behind. but there are as many, if not more, drug and crime horror sories out here. i feel defrauded. it's supposed to be all tractors, tomatoes and clotheslines, not stolen cars, meth labs and heroin mules. it's supposed to be like "green acres", not "best of cops- redneck style".

help!

p.s. i will have pictures soon!

last minute party

i have had problems with my snail mail since i moved. today i went to get the mail at 6 p.m. and there was an invitation for a surprise party for a friend, scheduled to begin at 8 p.m. tonight. TONIGHT! it asked me to bring an appetizer type dish but no gifts, thank goodness!

luckily, i have several bags of frozen cocktail shrimp stashed away. i bought them when the grocery ran them on sale a few weeks ago. so i took out a bag to defrost and make a quick cocktail sauce of ketchup, horseradish, garlic, a drop of tabasco and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice. then i got showered and got ready. i packed up my latest $3 garage sale find- a cake plate and a nice matching bowl that can be used as either a sauce bowl or the stand part of the cake plate.

once i arrived at 7:55, it only took a minute to drain the shrimp, arrange it on the platter and dump the sauce in the nice bowl. it was a hit- no left-overs! i had a good time visiting with my friends and eating some delicious little nibbles.

good thing i checked my mailbox tonight instead of in the morning. otherwise, i would have missed a good time!

now i am watching the repeat of "j&k+8". it's the season finale. k8h8 is g8!

don't forget to leave a comment...you might win an ipod! hurry! i only have 1 comment so far!